Wednesday, November 7, 2012
thoughts are stirring in my head and shaking my heart. so many thoughts that i can't even spill them out in any kind of order. these same thoughts have been swirling in my head for years, but without the love of the Lord to lead them. i know in my heart that there is something that we should all be doing that most of us are not. i have been convicted of it so hard lately, especially with the season of thanksgiving and christmas starting to rise. this feeling that stirs in me when i buy at 6, 10, or 30 dollar meal for my daughter and myself. a thought that if i would just eat something cheaper, then i could feed another. a thought that this could feed a family for a month with what i spent on a friday night dinner. a thought that if i could spend my days working at a homeless shelter or an orphanage or an underprivileged school in a bad neighborhood, or a poverty suffering country, that my life would mean more and i would finally be able to show the love our God has for us in a big way from a little act. but a little act that God has put in my heart. i am going to continue to pray about it until He shows me directly. yesterday at our small group, which is full of amazing, unique and talented and blessed people of the Lord, we were praying for about 45 minutes, all together, speaking out loud the things that were on our hearts, and i am not sure i have ever felt the presence of Him in such a small room and being so sure that He was hearing every last thing that we cried out to Him, whether it was silently, mumbled under our breath, prayed for in duos, sung out to the songs of worship proclaiming His holy name, or if we spoke it out so everyone could hear. i have no doubt in my mind that He hears every prayer, but combining the prayer of so many people that live to glorify our God every day, with every thought out action and word-not just getting the message on sundays or wednesdays, i know we can surely move any mountain that needs to be moved. i felt compelled to say out loud the conviction that i feel over our ungratefulness and the greed that consumes our society. i am trying to change my ways, i can honestly say that. i will not say that it's always easy, or that i have been completely successful so far, but i can say that i have the same spirit that Jesus had in Him, that we all do, and if we just open up our hearts to it, that we can change the world, one person, or one thought, or one planted seed at a time. i am more confident in my Savior than i have been or ever could be in myself or anyone else. i have had so many emotions with the holidays coming up, and with the election-or should i say re-election-of our president of the united states. i see people separating, dividing, not coming together and rejoicing in the freedoms and privileges we take for granted in this beautiful little bit of land our God has so graciously allowed us. a place we we can freely express ourselves and love our God out loud. we are so hungry as a whole for fame, money, more money, and more fame, bigger houses, nicer cars and so many things of the world, that i think we forget what life is about. life is about your family, your relationships, your communication and love and fulfillment that you can only get through our Lord. sure, you can work hard to get what you work and pay for, but we have to go back to the basics and remember that when the Lord blesses us, He does so not just to lavish His great love on us, but for us to bless others with that. even in a group of life and love giving people, we can be so much more. we can spread so much joy for Him that our city could be overflowing with love. but it takes sacrifice, and opening the gates for the word of God to flow into your heart, to show you what you are here to do, how you are supposed to make a difference, and to show you that you have been put exactly where you are at this moment for a reason, and whether you should stay there. miracles can happen if we just ask for them, know He can heal all and are confident in Him! i haven't posted in a couple days, because i just couldn't formulate the sentences i wanted to write, but all of a sudden, the things i had planned to write about went out the window and this small snippet came together... take it and run with it. i pray that you can hear the passion in my words, though you cannot hear my voice, and that whatever you do, you do it with Godly intention and passion!